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pimanchi_doubleTitle: To Fully Love You
Prompt: Hot
Author: pimanzero
Pairing: Sakumoto / Junba
Rating: G
Genre: Drama, Angst, Fluff
Summary: Even if I know that you just love me half-heartedly...
Warning: Er... Character's death...
-----
Matsumoto Jun sat in front of the emergency section in the hospital with furrowed brows. He had been chewing on his lower lip for about an hour now, that it started to feel sore. His feeling was a mixture of fear, worry, and rage.
Jun was scared about what could be happening to Sho, who was now still in the middle of a medical treatment inside the emergency room. He was angry, because Sho was so stupid for doing something that could endanger his own life like that. And he was so confused--confused about what to do now.
He really wanted to be by Sho's side by now, to give him support to be able to get through all the pain he was suffering. But he wasn't allowed to get in. The nurse told him to wait outside. It had been an hour since then, and no one seemed to give him any informations about Sho's condition.
Jun buried his face in both of his palms, his elbows on his knees. He was frustrated. He felt like yelling, he felt like crying...
"Matsumoto-san?" called a nurse.
Finally.
Jun felt his heart stopped beating at the call. He raised his head in an instance, to stare at the nurse in front of him.
"How's him?" he claimed, stood up to approach the nurse. "How's Sho-kun?"
"He's fine. You can see him now."
Jun quickly dashed into the emergency room. He found Sho was lying unconscious in one of the hospital beds in the middle of the room. As he walked closer, Jun could see some burns on Sho's upper arm and shoulder, and there was a thick bandage around the older's head. A thin tube was attached on his nose to give him oxygen supply.
"He's fine now. Just a little burns and smoke poisoning," the doctor who stood beside Sho's bed explained.
Jun stretched his right hand to caress Sho's cheek softly.
"Stupid boy," he mumbled, "Why did you do that? Going back into a burning house like that... Just what the hell were you thinking? You're very lucky you're not dead."
"Maybe he went back into the house to take this," the doctor said, showing a ring to Jun.
Jun was so surprised to see a very familiar ring in the doctor's hand. For a moment, he just stood there, staring at the ring without blinking.
"How could you..." he finally managed to say.
"I found this in Sakurai-san's grip earlier. He had been holding this ring tightly. I think this must be very important for him."
No. The ring was nothing for Sho, Jun knew it. It wasn't even his.
It was Jun's.
The doctor offered the ring to Jun, and he took it.
"Well, now if you'll excuse me," the doctor said, then he left Jun alone with Sho inside the emergency room.
Jun took a seat beside Sho's bed, still looking at the ring in his hand in disbelief.
So, it was it. The reason for Sho to go back inside their burning house and put his own life in danger. It was all for saving this. For saving Jun's most important treasure.
*
It was the ring he received from Aiba Masaki, his boyfriend, who was gone missing in a storm when he went for a mountain climbing with his friends two years ago.
They said Aiba was dead. But Jun never really believed it, because the older's body was never found. Ever since then, he had been waiting for Aiba to come back home, but the older never did.
Until then, a year ago, he finally met Sho and decided to move on.
Sho was a good man. His love for Jun was pure and unconditional. He loved Jun with all his heart and soul, that Jun slowly could open up his heart again, and learned to love the older back.
However, no matter how much love Sho had given to him, Jun realized, that he still couldn't love Sho as much as he loved Aiba. Aiba was still irreplaceable for him. Deep down inside his heart, there was still love for Aiba.
Even till now, Jun still hoped for Aiba to come back home again to him someday. That was why, without Sho's knowing, he still kept that ring.
He knew it wasn't right. He knew it was unfair for Sho. But he just couldn't betray his own feeling.
And now, knowing that Sho had always known his true feeling, yet he still showered Jun with so much affection, it made Jun's heart felt like being cut with a very sharp knife.
A bitter smile made its way to Jun's lips as he watched Sho's peaceful sleeping face. "You've known it all this time, huh? But why you never say a thing?"
Tears of guilt and regret started to stream down his cheeks.
"This ring doesn't worth your life," he sobbed, reaching for Sho's healthy hand, and held it in his hand. "I'm really scared, you know, when you were found unconscious in the middle of the flame back then. I thought you were dead. I thought I'm going to loose the one that I love for the second time... I--"
Jun felt Sho's hand moved in his grip, as the older shifted a little on his bed, signing that he had just gotten his consciousness back.
"I'm sorry for worrying you," Sho spoke with a weak and hoarse voice.
"Baka," Jun shifted closer to Sho's face, "Don't apologize to me. It's me who should apologize to you. I'm so selfish, and I've put you in a great danger because of my selfishness."
Sho let out a weak chuckle and joked, "Now you've realized that you're selfish." He freed his hand from Jun's grip to wipe the younger's tears. "But that's one of the reasons why I love you."
Jun shook his head. "I don't deserve your love."
"Jun, it's on me to decide whether you deserve it or not. And you do deserve it."
"Sho-kun, You know that I'm just half-heartedly loving you back, don't you?"
"I know."
"So why?"
"Because I believe that someday I'll be able to fully win your heart."
Jun fell quiet at Sho's answer, couldn't find another words to rebut it. He then stood up, and attempted to walk towards the trash at the far corner of the room. However, Sho--as if he could read his mind--prevented him from doing so.
"Don't," he said, making Jun turned to stare at him, "I know you're going to throw that ring away. Just, don't. You'll regret it later."
"I won't."
"Jun," Sho threw a begging gaze towards him, "I've put my life in danger to safe it, and now you're going to throw it away?"
"But if I don't do it, I won't be able to forget Masaki. I-- I won't be able to fully love you..." Jun's voice trembled.
"You will," Sho said, in a voice full of confidence, "I'll make you do, Jun. Just-- trust me."
A short silence, before at last, Jun let out a sigh, signing that he gave up.
"Well, then..." He then take the silver necklace around his neck off, and hanged the ring on it, as a pendant. Jun then bent down and put the necklace around Sho's neck. "I don't want it anymore, but you won't let me throw it away. So, there, I give it to you. For a lucky charm. Promise me to never put your life in danger again."
Sho nodded.
Jun sat back on the chair beside Sho's bed, then took the older's hand back to his grip.
"It'll need time, I know, but... I promise I'll forget about Masaki, and learn to fully love you, so... Will you wait for me?"
Sho smiled happily towards Jun. Despite the hot sensation he felt on his shoulder and upper-left arm's wounds, there's this certain warm feeling slowly filled his chest.
"I will."
*
A/N: This should be just a pure angst story according to the beginning plan, but then... I accidentally put too much sugar in it, that it becomes like this now xp
Hope this is still okay, and not causing you diabetes after reading this xp
*bricked* xD
(Part of 30 Days Random Words Challenge. Rules can be read HERE)
Prompt: Hot
Author: pimanzero
Pairing: Sakumoto / Junba
Rating: G
Genre: Drama, Angst, Fluff
Summary: Even if I know that you just love me half-heartedly...
Warning: Er... Character's death...
-----
Matsumoto Jun sat in front of the emergency section in the hospital with furrowed brows. He had been chewing on his lower lip for about an hour now, that it started to feel sore. His feeling was a mixture of fear, worry, and rage.
Jun was scared about what could be happening to Sho, who was now still in the middle of a medical treatment inside the emergency room. He was angry, because Sho was so stupid for doing something that could endanger his own life like that. And he was so confused--confused about what to do now.
He really wanted to be by Sho's side by now, to give him support to be able to get through all the pain he was suffering. But he wasn't allowed to get in. The nurse told him to wait outside. It had been an hour since then, and no one seemed to give him any informations about Sho's condition.
Jun buried his face in both of his palms, his elbows on his knees. He was frustrated. He felt like yelling, he felt like crying...
"Matsumoto-san?" called a nurse.
Finally.
Jun felt his heart stopped beating at the call. He raised his head in an instance, to stare at the nurse in front of him.
"How's him?" he claimed, stood up to approach the nurse. "How's Sho-kun?"
"He's fine. You can see him now."
Jun quickly dashed into the emergency room. He found Sho was lying unconscious in one of the hospital beds in the middle of the room. As he walked closer, Jun could see some burns on Sho's upper arm and shoulder, and there was a thick bandage around the older's head. A thin tube was attached on his nose to give him oxygen supply.
"He's fine now. Just a little burns and smoke poisoning," the doctor who stood beside Sho's bed explained.
Jun stretched his right hand to caress Sho's cheek softly.
"Stupid boy," he mumbled, "Why did you do that? Going back into a burning house like that... Just what the hell were you thinking? You're very lucky you're not dead."
"Maybe he went back into the house to take this," the doctor said, showing a ring to Jun.
Jun was so surprised to see a very familiar ring in the doctor's hand. For a moment, he just stood there, staring at the ring without blinking.
"How could you..." he finally managed to say.
"I found this in Sakurai-san's grip earlier. He had been holding this ring tightly. I think this must be very important for him."
No. The ring was nothing for Sho, Jun knew it. It wasn't even his.
It was Jun's.
The doctor offered the ring to Jun, and he took it.
"Well, now if you'll excuse me," the doctor said, then he left Jun alone with Sho inside the emergency room.
Jun took a seat beside Sho's bed, still looking at the ring in his hand in disbelief.
So, it was it. The reason for Sho to go back inside their burning house and put his own life in danger. It was all for saving this. For saving Jun's most important treasure.
*
It was the ring he received from Aiba Masaki, his boyfriend, who was gone missing in a storm when he went for a mountain climbing with his friends two years ago.
They said Aiba was dead. But Jun never really believed it, because the older's body was never found. Ever since then, he had been waiting for Aiba to come back home, but the older never did.
Until then, a year ago, he finally met Sho and decided to move on.
Sho was a good man. His love for Jun was pure and unconditional. He loved Jun with all his heart and soul, that Jun slowly could open up his heart again, and learned to love the older back.
However, no matter how much love Sho had given to him, Jun realized, that he still couldn't love Sho as much as he loved Aiba. Aiba was still irreplaceable for him. Deep down inside his heart, there was still love for Aiba.
Even till now, Jun still hoped for Aiba to come back home again to him someday. That was why, without Sho's knowing, he still kept that ring.
He knew it wasn't right. He knew it was unfair for Sho. But he just couldn't betray his own feeling.
And now, knowing that Sho had always known his true feeling, yet he still showered Jun with so much affection, it made Jun's heart felt like being cut with a very sharp knife.
A bitter smile made its way to Jun's lips as he watched Sho's peaceful sleeping face. "You've known it all this time, huh? But why you never say a thing?"
Tears of guilt and regret started to stream down his cheeks.
"This ring doesn't worth your life," he sobbed, reaching for Sho's healthy hand, and held it in his hand. "I'm really scared, you know, when you were found unconscious in the middle of the flame back then. I thought you were dead. I thought I'm going to loose the one that I love for the second time... I--"
Jun felt Sho's hand moved in his grip, as the older shifted a little on his bed, signing that he had just gotten his consciousness back.
"I'm sorry for worrying you," Sho spoke with a weak and hoarse voice.
"Baka," Jun shifted closer to Sho's face, "Don't apologize to me. It's me who should apologize to you. I'm so selfish, and I've put you in a great danger because of my selfishness."
Sho let out a weak chuckle and joked, "Now you've realized that you're selfish." He freed his hand from Jun's grip to wipe the younger's tears. "But that's one of the reasons why I love you."
Jun shook his head. "I don't deserve your love."
"Jun, it's on me to decide whether you deserve it or not. And you do deserve it."
"Sho-kun, You know that I'm just half-heartedly loving you back, don't you?"
"I know."
"So why?"
"Because I believe that someday I'll be able to fully win your heart."
Jun fell quiet at Sho's answer, couldn't find another words to rebut it. He then stood up, and attempted to walk towards the trash at the far corner of the room. However, Sho--as if he could read his mind--prevented him from doing so.
"Don't," he said, making Jun turned to stare at him, "I know you're going to throw that ring away. Just, don't. You'll regret it later."
"I won't."
"Jun," Sho threw a begging gaze towards him, "I've put my life in danger to safe it, and now you're going to throw it away?"
"But if I don't do it, I won't be able to forget Masaki. I-- I won't be able to fully love you..." Jun's voice trembled.
"You will," Sho said, in a voice full of confidence, "I'll make you do, Jun. Just-- trust me."
A short silence, before at last, Jun let out a sigh, signing that he gave up.
"Well, then..." He then take the silver necklace around his neck off, and hanged the ring on it, as a pendant. Jun then bent down and put the necklace around Sho's neck. "I don't want it anymore, but you won't let me throw it away. So, there, I give it to you. For a lucky charm. Promise me to never put your life in danger again."
Sho nodded.
Jun sat back on the chair beside Sho's bed, then took the older's hand back to his grip.
"It'll need time, I know, but... I promise I'll forget about Masaki, and learn to fully love you, so... Will you wait for me?"
Sho smiled happily towards Jun. Despite the hot sensation he felt on his shoulder and upper-left arm's wounds, there's this certain warm feeling slowly filled his chest.
"I will."
*
A/N: This should be just a pure angst story according to the beginning plan, but then... I accidentally put too much sugar in it, that it becomes like this now xp
Hope this is still okay, and not causing you diabetes after reading this xp
*bricked* xD
(Part of 30 Days Random Words Challenge. Rules can be read HERE)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2014-10-01 09:59 am (UTC)It's somehow heartwarming and sweet! I love this. Thank you for sharing! :D
no subject
Date: 2014-10-01 03:46 pm (UTC)Glad you like this, thanks for reading and commenting ^^
-pz-
no subject
Date: 2014-10-02 01:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-02 05:54 am (UTC)-pz-
no subject
Date: 2014-10-01 10:04 am (UTC)I was afraid that Sho would be dead but he's not and I'm happy! :")
thanks for this!
no subject
Date: 2014-10-01 03:54 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading and dropping a comment~ x3
-pz-
no subject
Date: 2014-10-01 03:04 pm (UTC)I don't blame Jun. I wouldn't be able to forget Aiba either >.< Thanks for writing!
no subject
Date: 2014-10-01 04:00 pm (UTC)Aah, yes, it must be very hard to forget someone like Masaki >.<
Thanks for reading and commenting~ x3
-pz-
no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 04:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-05 02:49 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading and commenting this too ^^
-pz-
no subject
Date: 2014-10-07 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-07 08:04 am (UTC)-pz-
no subject
Date: 2015-09-11 03:34 pm (UTC)Waww. So touched ..
Hope jun will be happy with the one he loved .. aiba must will happy for jun because he got such a nice man beside him.
Thanks for sharing
no subject
Date: 2015-09-17 04:30 am (UTC)Sure. Aiba will be happy if his Jun is ^^
Thanks for reading and commenting x3
-pz-
no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 01:36 pm (UTC)-pz-